what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
