Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
