Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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