So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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