You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
