stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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