He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
