i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize