ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
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You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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