have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Let's get the cat blown out
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
