My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish I only lived at night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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