hell yes lets make some ravioli
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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