I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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