We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
