So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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