dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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