i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
