Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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