thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
