dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize