Just cropdusted the office
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
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