Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize