Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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