if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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