No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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