Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
