Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
