I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
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stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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