Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize