god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
