he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
