hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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