Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize