Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
