does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
