My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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