dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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