Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We had to coat check the pizza.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am naked and annoyed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
