this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
