I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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