Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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