this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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