I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
