How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
