STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
