just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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