dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Never let your siblings swipe right.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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