In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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