thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
