ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
