I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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