And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
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Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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