Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
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